Issue link: http://cp.revolio.com/i/869597
Abby's Magazine - Volume 5 Issue 5| Page 17 prenatal mental health professional who can help you untangle the root causes of your anxiety, some of which can be physical (i.e. imbalances in your microbiome can cause anxiety, as can gluten intolerance), or rooted in old stories or experiences. 11. What other people think. The hard fact is that women can be really judgmental with one another around pregnancy and parenthood choices. I've had many wonderful women tell me they were kicked out of natural mom online groups because they had an epidural or needed a C-section. My response? What other people think is not your worry. How you do your pregnancy, birth, and parenting is your business alone. If you're worrying about what other people think, please, stop right now – because it will keep you from making the choices that are best for you and your baby. And when you make the choices that are right for you, your family and friends will get on-board, and you'll find the right mommy groups for yourself too! 12. Being "The Perfect Mom" I'm going to spare you a lot of misery right now. You're going to make mistakes. There. Now you can relax about it and not worry about that as an uncertainty! You can just assume it's going to happen and laugh about it now! There's no such thing as a perfect mom, no matter what you've seen on TV or read in a magazine. She doesn't exist. She's just a myth to make us miserable. There aren't really even any rules for what constitutes a great mom, other than being loving, present, caring, listening, and taking good care of your kids. Working moms, stay at home moms, single moms, playful moms, serious moms, gay moms, straight moms, rich moms, struggling moms – we're all human and we're all doing our best. There's no such thing as a perfect mom. She doesn't exist. She's just a myth to make us miserable. If you accept now that you're going to make some mistakes, and you can lovingly forgive yourself for these ahead of time, and when they happen, you'll enjoy being a mom so much more. I promise. We're all even going to do some of the things we swore we'd never do (like those things that our moms did); in fact, by the time you have teenagers, you'll likely have a lot more compassion for your mom). We're all going to say the wrong thing sometimes. I once told my daughter she was such a hearty athlete, because she kicked ass in a tennis match. I was complimenting her strength and stamina; she thought I was calling her fat (and she was a trim little thing!). I promise you'll have your own battle stories. Trying to be perfect, however, is exhausting and gets you nowhere, including not closer to your kids or being the kind of mom you want to be. Instead, find your own inner compass of how you want to be as mom, and use that to guide your decisions. As long as you're loving and kind to your kids and yourself – 95% of the time – you're golden! Accept that you're going to make mistakes & forgive yourself ahead of time – you'll enjoy being a mom so much more. So, What's a Pregnant Mom to Do When Worries Pop Up? Of course, worry is sometimes going to sink your heart, grip at your throat or bite you by the ankles once in a while, even in a perfectly normal healthy pregnancy. Because like I said, it's totally normal to worry in the face of big, giant, unknown situations. I mean, you'd probably be nervous before going bungee jumping for the first time, and many people get so nervous before public speaking they have to self-medicate. Let's compare the magnitude of events there – public speaking and having a baby. See what I mean? A little nervous is par for the course. But you don't have to get stuck there! Here are some of my favorite fear antidotes: Laugh More Laughter truly is great medicine for fear. It restores inner peace, and also restores harmony in your stress hormones and immune system, which get out of whack when we're doing too much worrying. There's nothing better than a great comedy movie to make you forget your worry, better when watched with friends and a good snack! There are also mommy blogs, humorous books, and even just commiserating with another pregnant mom to make you laugh. I want to say, 'to make you pee your pants,' or 'bust into stitches' – but those are not funny expressions if you're pregnant.