WWW.hPLUSMAgAzIne.CoM
AI bIo enhAnCeD nAno neURo FoReVeR YoUng
69
hUMoR
i'm SMArter than my Keys,
Dammit!
Joe Quirk
This morning, I locked my keys in my car.
This afternoon, my wife placed her keys on her car seat.
I said, "Don't do that. You might lock your keys in your car."
She said, "My keys won't let that happen. They're intelligent."
After I downloaded divorce papers, I had to wonder: how do we know when
AI is smarter than us? There are too many ways to measure intelligence. by my
wife's standard, her keys are smarter than me, because they can remember where
they are. by my standard, I'm smarter than her keys, because I can throw them into
the bushes.
"Who's smart now?" I asked the keys.
Ah, but my wife still thinks her keys are smarter, because she can press a
button and — voila! — her keys call for help. Ah, but I still think I am smarter,
because I can throw the keys onto the roof and — voila! — fuck you, smart-ass
keys.
Intelligence can't be reduced to an IQ number. There are many different kinds
of intelligences. Sometimes it's not an entity's actions that make it intelligent, but
the actions that entity causes other intelligences to make.
