Wheels Of Grace Magazine

Volume 12, Issue 5

Issue link: https://cp.revolio.com/i/1407686

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10 | WheelsOfGrace.com | #57 Available Now Take the Journey with Pastor Monty Van Horn Get your copy at: www.vhmi.org THREE QUESTIONS IN HEAVEN Biker Joe died and went to heaven. When he got to the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter told him he must answer three questions first. One, name two days of the week that begin with "T". Two, how many seconds are in a year? Three, what's God's first name? Biker Joe thought for a few minutes and answered: One, the two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow. Two, there are 12 seconds in a year. Three, God has two first names and they are ANDY & HOWARD." Saint Pete said, "OK I'll buy Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I wanted. But how did you get 12 seconds in a year and why do you think God's first name is ANDY or HOWARD?" Biker Joe responded, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, etc." "OK, I give you that one too" said Saint Peter, "but what about God's first name?" Biker Joe said "Well, from the song: 'ANDY walks with me, ANDY talks with me; ANDY tells me I am his own... and also the prayer... Our Father who art in Heaven, HOWARD be thy name..." Saint Peter shook his head and then said, welcome to heaven! LONG WHITE HAIR & BEARD One day, Jesus was walking by the Pearly Gates, when St. Peter asked him to watch the gates for a few minutes. Jesus agreed and, in a few minutes, He saw an old, old man approach with long white hair and beard. "How did you spend your life on earth my son?" asked Jesus. "I was a simple carpenter for sixty years" replied the old man. "And what do you hope to find here in heaven" asked Jesus. "I hope to find my son," said the man. "Well there are millions upon millions of people here, how will you find him?" "I'll recognize him by the nail holes in his hands and feet," stated the old man. Jesus does a double take, thinks for a moment & says, "Father???" The old man looks at Jesus and says, "Pinocchio?" HARLEY PULLED AT 120 MPH A guy bought a new Harley and got onto the interstate to see how fast it would go. As he got up to 80mph he suddenly saw a flashing blue light behind him. He sped up to 120 but the highway patrol was still on his tail. He finally pulled over and the officer came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it while looking over the new Harley. He then said: "I've had a tough shift, and this is my last pull over. I don't feel like more paperwork so if you can give me an excuse for your speeding that I haven't heard before I will let you go!" "Last year my wife ran off with a police officer," the biker said, "I was afraid you were trying to bring her back!" "Have a nice night", said the officer. BIKER HUMOR Dano HSMM SFFS NC State Rep & Prez S. Central & NC Chapter

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