Volume 5 Issue 4

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Page 28 of 63

Sex. What's that? Why don't I have any sex drive since the birth of my child? As a mama who has been nursing forever, and sees no end in sight (although I am nursing a toddler), what can I do to boost my libido? Hi! I would just like to know how to get my sex drive back? I delivered a year ago and it just has not come back yet. What do I do? I experience discomfort and some pain during sex since giving birth six months ago. I am breas eeding, but even using a lubricant doesn't seem to help. Any sugges ons? I feel like my "touch jar" is full. When I do feel like being in mate with my mate, we are o en too red, and some mes he takes my reac ons to being "over touched" as a sign that I am not interested… How do we revitalize our in macy, and do you have any sugges ons on dealing with this dichotomy of feeling a yearning for in macy, but feeling like you can't handle any more touching? I feel like I could go years without having sex! I feel terrible for my husband and we have no in macy in our rela onship. Now I dread that this lack of in macy will be the rest of our lives. These are just a few of the many ques ons that new moms ask me about sex in the first year or so a er the birth of a baby. Is There Sex After Baby? The New Mom Dilemma You're Not Alone Ge ng back to your sex life a er having a baby is super stressful for many women. According to one large study of the sex habits of couples in their first year a er having a baby, 89% of couples had resumed a sexual rela onship by 6 months. Of these, 83% reported that they'd had sexual problems in the first 3 months, with 64% s ll repor ng difficulty at 6 Months. Problems included painful intercourse, vaginal dryness, vaginal looseness, pain with orgasm, bleeding or irrita on a er sex, and loss of desire. Compounding the problem for the new mom, is rela onship pressure. Typically, your partner wants to get things going again before you're ready. Interes ngly, the husband of one of my close friends, once told me that most guys, actually, think a sexy mom is the sexiest thing on earth! But you might be feeling anything but sexy! As a new mama, you're more likely feeling exhausted, "touched out" from nursing a baby all day (and night), overwhelmed and pre-occupied by baby's need. You may also have some physical discomforts that leaves you feeling that you're just not ready for anything coming anywhere near where that baby came out! Also, many women are afraid to conceive again, making intercourse an even less appealing prospect! Having a baby also brings a new iden ty to yourself as a sexual being. "Mom" and "Sexy" are not words that most new mothers put into the same sentence. For many new moms, body image issues loom large: we feel less a rac ve, have "baby weight" we haven't yet lost, or a belly pooch that we don't find par cularly sexy. We're red, and some mes even forget to brush our teeth or hair in-the-midst of taking care of baby! Ge ng into a shower and having a meal can seem like a feat. Sex is not necessarily the first thing on our minds. Abby's Magazine - Volume 5 Issue 4 | Page 29

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