Issue link: http://cp.revolio.com/i/139497
me. While no parent can prevent all sibling rivalry, there are things families can do to minimize it: Fight Nice Studies show that families in which the parents fight frequently have more sibling conflict. "When parents are modeling really bad problem-solving skills, the kids sense that tension and they act it out," says Fay. That is not to say that parents should hide disagreements. Instead, "fight nice" in front of the kids, focusing on issues instead of character. "It's OK to say 'I love you, but I totally disagree with what you just said," advises Fay. Don't Show Favoritism Studies show as many as 70 percent of parents exhibit some favoritism toward one child. When kids pick up on this, it can be a lethal catalyst for sibling feuds. "For instance, pointing out to a child that they do not have grades as high as their sibling's grades can be destructive," says McDermott. Also, avoid making stereotypes, like "She's the wild one and she's the smart one," says Ziegler. And make a point of setting aside "alone time" with each child. Give Kids Space "Kids generally play until somebody's feelings are hurt or something has gone wrong," notes Ziegler. End the game while they are still getting along, praise them for how well they played, and ask them to take some "alone time." Seek Professional Help If Needed If children are physically aggressive with each other on a regular basis, or if one child is always the victim, this can be a red flag that outside help is needed, says McDermott. on't share. Health and Wellness Magazine • 19